And sure, maybe her senate hearings were "grotesque kabuki." But I had a lot of fun imagining what she would have said if she didn't have to do all this bowing and scraping and uber-cautious self-censoring, pledging herself oh-so-carefully to the Robot Umpire Army. Sonia Sotomayor, unleashed! Ready to counter racism and sexism whenever it appears, with her rapier wit and sharp tongue! (OK, maybe -I- wish I could've shouted these things, and she wasn't angered by the inanity AT ALL. But I still enjoyed the exercise.)
IT'S LIKE SENATORIAL-JUDICIAL CRACKFIC! Choose your own rebuttal!
What do you most wish Sotomayor COULD have said during her senate hearings?
I don’t think I have a temperament problem. I’ve listened to you lecturing me about my racism for hours now without once laughing in your face.
How long have you been on your period, Sen. Graham? 12 years? 80?
The next person who pulls a Ricky Ricardo impersonation WILL regret it. And don’t even THINK about calling me a “spicy chiquita” or a “hot tamale.” No, I will not be SPLAINING this again.
"Having empathy" means the opposite of being biased. Are you having a hard time grasping this concept? Can I find you a dictionary?
I am really thankful to learn that at the end of the day, after all my hard work, 17 years of judicial service count for nothing. I’ll just call up all the other chicas and tell them to stop trying.
Please, rich old white dudes from the South! Tell me more about your oppression!
I do regret the wise Latina speech. Looking back, I wish I'd only used small words in short sentences you might've been able to understand.
Crack open a history book if you really believe that an all white male court has a long record of completely impartial rulings. Why, Brown v. Board of Education only happened after decades of segregat—oh, wait! Did I just use facts? I must be loca!
Your undies must be really bunchy today, eh, Senator Honkeypants?
I've got 60 votes in my wise lil' pocket! Suck on that, bitches!
Or maybe you have some ideas of your own? Please share!